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Aug 2 / admin

It was a gritty performance but Ferguson knew where the credit lay

It was a gritty performance, but Ferguson knew where the credit lay. At the final whistle he strode onto the pitch, past his players, to the referee. The night may have been cold but the handshake could not have been warmer.”The team do that to me, I think they torture me. We rode our luck at times but in general play we were excellent – our composure, possession on the ball. I’m very, very proud of them,” Ferguson said.”They were all outstanding They’ve deserved the result. There have been times in the past when we haven’t got the luck. The referee was magnificent. That’s one of the best you’ll ever get,” he added.Ronaldo was gracious in defeat.

“We showed big hearts and we also created some scoring chances, we just weren’t able to put them in,” he said. “United deserved it more than we did.”Internazionale (3-4-1-2): Pagliuca; Bergomi (Moriero, 69), Colonnese, West; Zanetti, Silvestre, Simeone (Ze Elias, 32), Cauet; Baggio; Zamorano, Ronaldo (Ventola, 59). Substitutes not used: Frey (gk), Galante, Djorkaeff, Winter.Manchester United (4-4-2): Schmeichel; G Neville, Berg, Stam, Irwin; Beckham, Keane, Johnsen (Scholes, 76), Giggs (P Neville, 81); Yorke, Cole. Substitutes not used: Van der Gouw (gk), Sheringham, Blomqvist, Brown, Solskjaer.Referee: G Veissiere (France).SEMI-FINALISTSBayern MunichDynamo KievJuventusManchester UnitedDraw tomorrow, 11.0 GMT, Geneva. If you typed in a URL, please make sure you have typed it correctly.

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}. I WENT up to London the other day to see the Monet exhibition – or, more accurately, to see the queues for the Monet exhibition – but before I could even get there, who should I bump into but my old friend Adrian Wardour-Street, the king of public relations.

Or, if Max Clifford should happen to read this, the heir apparent, at least, to public relations. We merged into a little authentic coffee bar, and Adrian asked me if I wanted a “latte”.
“What’s that?” I said.”I’m not entirely sure, but everyone’s asking for it these days, so I do as well Due latte, per favore So, how’s tricks?”"Fine,” I said. “And you?”Always lead the conversation back to Adrian, that’s my motto. That way, he never gets bored.”Working in television this week,” he said. “Outside my usual orbit, but I’m doing a favour for a friend who needs some PR doing for a new programme he and the BBC have cooked up together.

He has a small freelance TV company that has persuaded the BBC to let them make a trend-setting, mould-breaking series for them, on the grounds that they have come up with an idea that nobody has ever thought of.”"Impossible,” I said. “All ideas have been done before.”"That is true,” said Adrian, “but sometimes people come up with a combination of two ideas that has never been tried before. My friend has come up with just such a combination: sex and animals.”"On the contrary,” I said “David Attenborough’s already done all that. He has been through the mating patterns of every possible living species.”"Not sex and nature,” said Adrian “I’m talking about sex and animals That’s different.

You know that animal programmes are very popular on TV at the moment? Animal Hospital etc? All those poor ailing pets who get well on the spot for fear of being touched by Rolf Harris’s rough Australian hands? And you know that homosexual programmes and characters are also very big right now? Queer as Folk, for one. And what about that bloke from Gimme, Gimme, Gimme?”"Yes, yes, yes…”"My mate is combining the two ideas in a new programme about homosexual dogs. Bound to be a mass sensation.”"They’ll never let him do it.”"They’ve already commissioned him Series of six half-hours. New programme called Gay Dogs and Englishmen.”"Shouldn’t that strictly be Mad Dogs and Englishmen?”"Yeah, but that title’s already taken – they’re using it for another programme about the British and rabies.”I thought about it a moment.”You’re not seriously trying to tell me that the BBC hopes to boost its audience figures by attracting homosexual dogs?”"Of course not. You don’t really think it’s sick parrots that watch Rolf Harris, do you?”I paused again.”Do you think that there really are such things as homosexual dogs, Adrian?”"Of course there are. Why else do you think people would talk about `gay dogs’?”"I don’t think homosexuality is found much in nature.”"Dogs don’t operate in nature, son.