I loved it when he got a little serious – Husbands and Wives Crimes and Misdemeanors – and even the cod-Bergman offerings were

I loved it when he got a little serious – Husbands and Wives, Crimes and Misdemeanors – and even the cod-Bergman offerings were just about interesting enough. Yes, I was a Woody groupie.It’s years now since I watched one of those early Allen films. Not even Hannah and Her Sisters, a movie I would put on sometimes just to revel in the anticipation of Michael Caine delivering to Barbara Hershey the ee cummings quote: “Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.” Sigh.But I just can’t do it. Yes: once upon a time, Woody was one of my heroes.
I loved Annie Hall, adored Manhattan. Broadway Danny Rose, The Purple Rose of Cairo, Hannah and Her Sisters – these were films I would watch again and again at the drop of a hat, rapt in the loopy romance of them all.

There was a time when, offered the chance to interview Woody Allen, I’d have accepted with a mixture of excitement, awe and not a little love Yes: once upon a time, Woody was one of my heroes. I love the bit when they wake up together to the sound of a kazoo band – hilarious!Rankin will present his short film ‘Perfect’ at After Dark: Future Cinema, at the ICA in London (020-7930 3647), from 8pm on 16 June ( ). Thankfully, the strike rate is reasonably high throughout The Lost Riots, which is surely destined to join Keane atop the UK album chart.. When Shrek 2 opens here in July, British viewers will see a different version from the one showing in American cinemas. No, there won’t be an extended, extra-violent climax, ?a the “House of Blue Leaves” sequence in the Japanese cut of Kill Bill Vol 1. Nor will there be bonus explicit footage of Shrek and Fiona playing Pin the Tail On the Donkey for a “European” cut, in the style of The Man Who Fell to Earth This is a children’s film, for heaven’s sake. This is a children’s film, for heaven’s sake.
No, Shrek 2’s changes for the UK market are small but significant.

Two of the characters have been revoiced for British prints, so that American celebrities doing walk-on (or should we say, “talk-on”?) parts have been replaced by British ones.The first switch involves Ugly Sister 2 (above), an obvious man in drag who runs the dive where Fiona’s treacherous father goes to hire Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) to kill Shrek (Mike Myers). In the US version, Ugly Sister 2 is voiced by the CNN talk show host Larry King, whose gruff, grizzled tones are instantly recognisable to Americans, who see him grilling celebrities and politicians nightly on Larry King Live. UK viewers, however, will hear instead the distinctive, but decidedly less gruff, Jonathan Ross. Given that Ross, far from being a serious journalist, is famous for lisping and occasionally wearing skirts, the gag gains a very different kick. Perhaps Jeremy Paxman said no.This swap is at least more understandable than the later one, when the British showbiz reporter Kate Thornton replaces Joan Rivers in the role of The Red Carpet Reporter. As most Brits (however benighted) know, Rivers is the grande dame of trash talking, a 70-year-old former Borscht Belt comedienne whose stand-up material predates the French Revolution and whose face has been lifted more times than a Concorde flap. Every year, on Oscar night, she trawls the carpet outside the Academy Awards ceremony, caustically reviewing the frocks of the famous and dishing out insults.

That’s why her appearance in Shrek 2 – the character is even modelled to look like her – is one of the funniest moments in the American version Plus, there’s no mistaking her throaty, Brooklyn cackle. Thornton, on the other hand, with her giggly, girlish pipes, only works as a joke in the film (and a weak one at that) if you know that it’s her doing the voice. And, sorry Kate, most people won’t.Perhaps it’s carping to single out the weaknesses of the voice substitutions, given that Shrek 2 is, by and large, hilarious, although perhaps a shade less charming and fresh than the first instalment. Whether the Ross and Thornton substitutions enhance or detract from the film as whole is ultimately less interesting than the fact that they are there in the first place. In a world of ever-increasing homogenisation and globalised cultural product, the attempt to redo bits of a movie to make it funnier for a specific market shows, if not a laudable sort of sensitivity then, at the very least, sound business sense.The quick-fire, wilfully anachronistic, pop-culture-savvy humour of the Shrek franchise draws mainly on American references to begin with – one could argue that these additions go some way to redressing the balance.